Chills reading this! I have felt so much of this. It took me seeing my 4 daughters start to forge their own ways in the world and define who they are, to be able to finally realize how much I have held back in my life. Always trying to twist myself into what/who I was supposed to be. My mom recently observed that every single one of her adult granddaughters has left the church, but the grandsons have all stayed. I told her it’s no coincidence. The boys get to partake of the feast, while we are left with the table scraps. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
This is incredible, thank you for sharing. In trying to describe my own experience of losing faith, I once said it was like clinging to a rope in the dark. I clutched harder and harder but could feel myself slipping and the panic rising as my energy ebbed. And at some point, I just couldn’t hold anymore and I let go…only to find out the ground had been inches beneath my feet the whole time. It’s not exactly like what you described…but I felt the same strain of feeling reading your experience.
Love all of this so much Rosie. When I left the church in 2019 and had the internal battle about whether or not to be open about it, I saw a post on IG that helped me so much, and a quote from it reminds me a lot of your dream.
“Let yourself be exiled. Feel them turn away, let yourself get kicked out of Eden, take 10 minutes to watch the timeline where you are rejected play out. And the notice how you didn't die, you didn't instantly dissolve, you finally chose to be on your side and have your own back.” -@realizationbypea
I love your soul! — equal parts grace, truth, courage, and beauty. Your offering to this community is the feast we needed after decades of table scraps. You aren’t standing alone anymore outside of the COB ❤️ All the best on this next chapter!!
Thank you so much for your bravery and for doing it at the time that was right for you. Your bravery prompted a discussion with my therapist about me sharing your op-ed online. As my own departure from the church has been mostly closeted when it comes to family. Only spoken in private and through a very obstructive sieve. Being honest about your words representing me as well is scary and also important for me in my small sphere. Thank you thank you thank you.
Thank you for sharing your writing with us. So many of us have been silently going through so much of our own processing regarding the church. You are so brave and I’m grateful I was able to share your words and be able to better articulate with my loved ones the thoughts behind why I’ve left the church. Thanks for always being someone who has been leading the advocacy for change. I’m sure that’s not an easy role to live, but you’re doing it beautifully.
The last bit about not even caring to turn around! This feeling is true freedom to me. Thanks for sharing your views over the years, you helped me break down so many important world views that had trapped me in a box that was a prison.
I've left the church but I still feel its tug in my soul and I really wish i didn't care if they locked me out. I so wish I was there. Thank you for sharing your experiences 💕
I've been so amazed at your grit and compassion over the years. You've built a community that's safely harbored the thinkers, the empathizers, and the wanderers. Thank you for that. Thank you for giving words to how so many of us feel. Your dream was special and so are you. I hope the next chapter of your life brings you the peace and growth you deserve. ❤️
Rosie I am crying and routing for you 😭 I always have and always will. Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I am right there with you. I feel it all. How beautiful it is to see the human experience through your eyes and feel so seen. Thank you for your efforts and courage always 🙏🏻♥️.
This resonates so much for me. It's been a slow burn for me. I was released as YW President on July 31,2023 and my temple recommend expired that day. It was that moment that I felt free.
There are so many moments when I will correlate my walking away and feeling free and happy but one that most resonates is when Jonas in the Giver starts receiving the memories of the truth. The more he opened his eyes, the more he learned the more he couldn’t unsee what was so corrupt and wrong. Your Barbie reference is another.
Reading your words yesterday gave me chills! I hope it has helped people as a whole feel safe to walk away. You write eloquently; you are smart and kind but also precise. I felt seen with everything you said, but am hoping you continue to feel seen by how many of us are grateful for your bravery. We need more women of your caliber with a platform.
Over and over again you seem to have all the words that perfectly describe my own feelings. The freedom (from shame) since I “left” the church in 2020 has been truly restoring, but it hasn’t been a linear journey getting here. That Barbie monologue has also stuck with me as a reminder that I don’t need to fit myself into any box. Happy to be living outside the box with you Rosie ❤️
Chills reading this! I have felt so much of this. It took me seeing my 4 daughters start to forge their own ways in the world and define who they are, to be able to finally realize how much I have held back in my life. Always trying to twist myself into what/who I was supposed to be. My mom recently observed that every single one of her adult granddaughters has left the church, but the grandsons have all stayed. I told her it’s no coincidence. The boys get to partake of the feast, while we are left with the table scraps. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
That is wild! But I agree with your observation. Not very surprising.
This is incredible, thank you for sharing. In trying to describe my own experience of losing faith, I once said it was like clinging to a rope in the dark. I clutched harder and harder but could feel myself slipping and the panic rising as my energy ebbed. And at some point, I just couldn’t hold anymore and I let go…only to find out the ground had been inches beneath my feet the whole time. It’s not exactly like what you described…but I felt the same strain of feeling reading your experience.
Totally! I love this
Love all of this so much Rosie. When I left the church in 2019 and had the internal battle about whether or not to be open about it, I saw a post on IG that helped me so much, and a quote from it reminds me a lot of your dream.
“Let yourself be exiled. Feel them turn away, let yourself get kicked out of Eden, take 10 minutes to watch the timeline where you are rejected play out. And the notice how you didn't die, you didn't instantly dissolve, you finally chose to be on your side and have your own back.” -@realizationbypea
so so true and so good. Thanks for sharing that with me
I love your soul! — equal parts grace, truth, courage, and beauty. Your offering to this community is the feast we needed after decades of table scraps. You aren’t standing alone anymore outside of the COB ❤️ All the best on this next chapter!!
Thank you so much. I'm so glad any bit feels helpful to anyone!
Thank you so much for your bravery and for doing it at the time that was right for you. Your bravery prompted a discussion with my therapist about me sharing your op-ed online. As my own departure from the church has been mostly closeted when it comes to family. Only spoken in private and through a very obstructive sieve. Being honest about your words representing me as well is scary and also important for me in my small sphere. Thank you thank you thank you.
Huge! I'm happy for you!
Yes girl! Fist pumping through every word of this and your Tribune article!
Thank you, Celeste. I never thought we'd be here, but grateful we are. Thank you for your words all these years.
Thank you for sharing your writing with us. So many of us have been silently going through so much of our own processing regarding the church. You are so brave and I’m grateful I was able to share your words and be able to better articulate with my loved ones the thoughts behind why I’ve left the church. Thanks for always being someone who has been leading the advocacy for change. I’m sure that’s not an easy role to live, but you’re doing it beautifully.
It can be so lonely. It is such a unique and sensitive process. Thank you so much
Life changing read. Thank you so much for yesterday’s article and this beautifully worded substack.
Thank you for reading both.
The last bit about not even caring to turn around! This feeling is true freedom to me. Thanks for sharing your views over the years, you helped me break down so many important world views that had trapped me in a box that was a prison.
I agree! I feel like I realized it as I wrote the words. I really am ok with the door locked or unlocked. It has nothing to do with me at this point.
I've left the church but I still feel its tug in my soul and I really wish i didn't care if they locked me out. I so wish I was there. Thank you for sharing your experiences 💕
I've been so amazed at your grit and compassion over the years. You've built a community that's safely harbored the thinkers, the empathizers, and the wanderers. Thank you for that. Thank you for giving words to how so many of us feel. Your dream was special and so are you. I hope the next chapter of your life brings you the peace and growth you deserve. ❤️
Thank you for calling it special. For so long, it felt like a dark and scary thing. Now with the light on it, I can see that it really is special.
Rosie I am crying and routing for you 😭 I always have and always will. Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I am right there with you. I feel it all. How beautiful it is to see the human experience through your eyes and feel so seen. Thank you for your efforts and courage always 🙏🏻♥️.
Thank you for cheering me on!
This resonates so much for me. It's been a slow burn for me. I was released as YW President on July 31,2023 and my temple recommend expired that day. It was that moment that I felt free.
Happy for you!
There are so many moments when I will correlate my walking away and feeling free and happy but one that most resonates is when Jonas in the Giver starts receiving the memories of the truth. The more he opened his eyes, the more he learned the more he couldn’t unsee what was so corrupt and wrong. Your Barbie reference is another.
Reading your words yesterday gave me chills! I hope it has helped people as a whole feel safe to walk away. You write eloquently; you are smart and kind but also precise. I felt seen with everything you said, but am hoping you continue to feel seen by how many of us are grateful for your bravery. We need more women of your caliber with a platform.
Thank you for sharing.
It is amazing how many places we can find truth! I need to reread the Giver.
Over and over again you seem to have all the words that perfectly describe my own feelings. The freedom (from shame) since I “left” the church in 2020 has been truly restoring, but it hasn’t been a linear journey getting here. That Barbie monologue has also stuck with me as a reminder that I don’t need to fit myself into any box. Happy to be living outside the box with you Rosie ❤️
The box! Yes, so many times I felt like it would be safer to just slip my wrists back in the twist ties!
It feels amazing being free. Thank you for sharing your experience! It helps me 1) feel seen 2) feel sane. ❤️
You help me feel the same!
The goosiest of bumps!
Thank you for speaking to my soul by bearing yours.
You're important. Your work is important. Your heart is important. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🥹
Tears. Thank you